Yesterday, I was here:
It was lovely. LOVELY. That wasn't the only reason it was a good day though. It was the first day in about 6 weeks that I felt somewhat "normal" (ie. not so exhausted I can't really go out and do anything). I'm not sure exactly what did it, but after a giant sleep and a little dietary tinkering toward the end of the week, all of a sudden, something shifted.
I am still feeling very tentative about feeling better, and spent the day today at home puttering around. Did laundry, made some soup broth (my first time!), talked to my folks on the phone, talked to some friends on the phone, and relaxed. I know I need to keep taking it somewhat easy, and (now that I've admitted defeat) will happily do so if it means continuing to feel better.
I'm hoping the change to spring is companion to a larger shift for me, into a more peaceful, healthier feeling space that I've missed so much. Huh, just writing that I realized it really is spring, yesterday was the spring equinox!
So, here I be. Hoping for more good days than bad this week. Doing my best to just be. And get some semblance of what is important to me back in a more permanent sense. My mom has told me many times that her mom used to say, "act enthusiastic and you'll be enthusiastic!" so will also be focusing on keeping a good mindset, and making small and steady steps towards good.